Pandemic Life Lessons Year 2022

We’re going into year three of the pandemic or what some like to refer to as the healthcare crisis. The word ‘crisis’ has a negative connotation but looking at the year ahead, lets focus on the positive lessons it has taught us and reflect on how we can make life even better going forward. I’d like to share a few things I’ve learnt:

1. Identify and manage stress

Admittedly, the first year of the pandemic was extremely stressful (and still is) as I found myself reading and consuming as much information about the virus as I possibly could. I wanted to know what it was, where it was, how it spread and what I could do to protect my loved ones and myself from it. It was an obsession, though an unhealthy one. To reduce stress, it was important to identify sources of stress and for me it was fear of contracting the virus and overthinking.

To limit overthinking, we learnt that it was best to just turn on the news for the morning, midday and evening updates. In between those hours, we could focus on work and on things that mattered to us. To reduce possibility of contracting the virus, stocking up on food and limiting exposure to others reduced stress. As long as we were home, we were safe. Home became our safe-haven, our sanctuary.

2. Make your home comfortable

Prior to the pandemic, Alex and I would often joke that we were boarders at our dogs’s house. They lived at the house all day, but we would just go home to spend the night before rushing off in the wee hours of the morning to work. Weekends were spent doing errands, meeting family and friends and so time at home was limited. Holidays were often spent abroad roaming the streets of a far off country.

The pandemic allowed us to really sit and observe the house. We rearranged furniture, decluttered, and bought new furniture that better suited our needs. Finally after ten years ‘living’ in this house, late last year we both commented how finally the arrangement was where it should be. We finally felt comfortable with the use of all our furniture.

3. Do things that give you happiness

An article in the New York Times talked about how we turned to baking and crafting during the pandemic because it gave us a sense of ‘control’ when everything outside was not in control. This was certainly true for me. I spent weekends finishing off craft projects, learning new skills, getting healthier, sleeping more, and rekindling my love of baking and trying out new recipes. There were foods I wanted to eat, but our house was far and delivery not an option. We cooked more, baked more, had less processed foods and lost a few kilos in weight each. Our epileptic dog became healthier with daily walks, and our plants also started living their best life and were no longer left to the “will of the gods.” We took our first family photo with our dogs after 9 years together.

4. Set up a routine

When you are home 24/7 its important to have a routine that gets you ready for the day and end the day to avoid the blurring of ‘work’ and ‘home’. We set up a routine, woke up at the same time each day, unless we were very tired, exercised, had breakfast, read the news then get ready for work. To end the day, we’d walk out into our garden, water the plants and walk the dogs. The routine gave us a start and end to the working day.

5. Have compassion, be grateful, and share

This may be one of the most important lessons of all. Time is limited and you never know when your time will end. You cannot tell what a person is going through by just looking at them or seeing their actions at a certain time. Everyone also handles stress differently and was experiencing the pandemic through different lens. Some live alone, some with large families and elders, some in small apartments, some in large houses, some with family in other countries. Whatever the circumstances, we must all respect others and be compassionate and grateful for what we have. Be kind and show kindness.

This pandemic, I’m grateful for my life and the opportunities I have. I’m grateful for being able to work from home, have a job and my loving family. I’m also grateful to the quality of Thailand’s internet network allowing us to work from home with ease. I’m grateful for all the little things like hearing birds chirp as I work, feeling the soft fur of my dogs as they lay by my feet, and being able to have lunch and dinner with my husband.

6. Seize the opportunity

Every cloud has a silver lining. There are always opportunities if we look for it and work for it. In less than a year, many companies were able to adopt technology and switch to online work. Businesses converted to online stores and reduced overhead costs. (Many companies are still suffering, but I am not going to discuss that here). Nothing in life is permanent and so we must therefore do the best with what we have. Many, at each their own capacity, were able to show their best versions of themselves, helping others who were not as fortunate. There is always a way to help others if only we looked for it.

We don’t know how long this health crisis will last. Let this year be a good year and one where we achieve our goals, get our health in order and become better versions of ourselves. We don’t know what will happen, but we know that we can start it out on a positive note and try to make each day better than the last. What have you learnt these past two years, what are you grateful for? What do you want to do next?

I have a few goals I want to achieve, and one of them is my return to writing. Miss you all.

To be or not be: happy

When I read the news or turn on the TV I don’t really want to know all the details of beheadings, attacks and killings.  I can’t get away from it though. It’s everywhere, it’s sad and I pray for all affected. No one should have to experience such horrific events.  Yet they do because there are unhappy people everywhere.  What makes people happy or unhappy?  Alex and I discussed this recently in one of our many discussions.  Countless books have been written on this topic and gurus abound, but here is our take on how to be happy.

1 Acknowledge and accept that one cannot be happy 100% of the time, but believe that you can have more happiness than unhappiness. Like anything in life, accept the truth and move on.  It’s impossible to be happy all the time.  There will be times when you are sad, angry or feel blue.  These emotions will pass.  How fast they pass by depends on you.  This is a fact of life. When you acknowledge this and are no longer fixated on being happy all the time, you will have less stress.

2 Search for the true cause of the problem that is making you unhappy.  For each ‘unhappiness’ that you want to fix, you need to be able to find the true root cause of it.  If you don’t find the root cause, it will be like cutting weed without taking out the root.  The weed will come back. It may expand underground and resurface in different areas, but it will be back.

For example, most people, myself included, have some form of insecurity. As the german psychoanalyst Eric Fromm (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erich_Fromm) said, “The task we must set for ourselves is not to feel secure, but to be able to tolerate insecurity.” We must find the cause of our insecurity and face it.  Insecurity can take many forms. A lot of people hide their insecurities through accumulation of material goods.  If they have so and so , x and x with this much value, people will ‘love’ or look up to them.  They don’t think they can be liked without their possessions.   Sometimes the insecurities come in the form of defensiveness.  I bet we’ve all experienced this where the other side just cannot accept any form of constructive criticism.  They feel insecure and threatened.

3 Really believe you can fix it.  It is in your power to fix it. The important thing is to ‘believe’ and make a plan.  A lot of people make the mistake of believing that problems can be fixed right away and result in immediate happiness, but more often than not results take time. A lot of time.

For example, a lot of people complain about work. They are unhappy and complain day after day, wishing that things were better, but do nothing to fix the problem.  Years go by and the unhappiness intensifies. What do you do to fix the problem? You could start by taking small steps to make it better.  See if you can improve the situation. Can you make the environment or do something to make it better?  Little by little the situation can and will be improved.  Be patient. The responsibility is in your hands.

What do you think makes one happy or not?

When All You’ve Ever Wanted Isn’t Enough

Being in a contemplative mood today a title of a book pops suddenly into my head: Harold Kushner’s “When All You’ve Ever Wanted Isn’t Enough.” I have to admit I have not yet read this book by Rabbi Kushner but somehow the title has intriqued me on more occasions than one. It’s a title that grabs you whenever you walk by it at the bookstore. It grabs your inner voice and leaves a mark in your brain as if it were your subconscious speaking the words “when all you’ve ever wanted isn’t enough.”

So what happens I wonder when all I wanted isn’t enough? How much is enough? Is there an end to enough? The end seems far in sight. It seems to be far out into the horizon like when you are looking out towards the sea. There is no end. The earth is not flat and we won’t suddenly drop off the ocean even if we wanted to. If we keep going and going, we’ll go around in a circle and end up where we started. We end up still wanting something that we previously didn’t have.

Last year I wanted a watch. I saved up and got my watch. This year I suddenly want an iPad 2. I don’t really need it because I already have a desktop, a laptop, a netbook, and an iPhone all to myself. I really only use one at a time and when I read I can read from one of my computers or my iPhone. Yet still it’s not the same. I want that iPad 2. My brain says I don’t really need it. My heart says go out and buy it. This is what happens when all I wanted isn’t enough.

If I were satisfied with finally having gotten my watch then I’ll be completely happy. I’m happy I got what I wanted. Then suddenly, now that the watch is here, it no longer gives me satisfaction.

The same goes for everything else in life. Work, relationships, children.

It’s a mental challenge that will probably exist throughout my entire lifetime. How do we get satisfaction in life. I am happy the way I am, but if I chosen another path or if I had done something different would I be happier? Life sometimes I feel is like a constant search for satisfaction. The never ending search for the unknown.

When in reality, the unknown is really inside your head. Inside your mind. One way I think we can be more satisfied is to just be grateful everyday for what you have, what has been given and what you will receive. I’m not saying be passive and ignorant, but if you find yourself complaining day-in, day-out about everything around you, try instead to use different words. Change from the word “bored” to “happy.” Is your life really that miserable?

Look around and appreciate the good things in life. Use positive words. You will find that it has a good psychological effect on your mood. Even better yet, it has a good influence on those around you. It probably still doesn’t take away the feeling of “when all you’ve ever wanted isn’t enough,” but I think it can somewhat lessen the degree with which you feel it.

After all this contemplation, I think it’s probably time I got Kushner’s book and read it. It’s tempted me often enough.

Have you read it? What do you think about it?

Three Hundred Nights

Tonight is the night I break the lucky 300th post.   I therefore want to give a special note of appreciation and thanks to my dear readers.  For each and everyone of you have and continue to inspire me.  Your comments, your thoughts, and your support are an invaluable source of motivation for me to continue on writing.   I also want to thank Alex who is always there by my side prodding me along whenever I need it.  Thank you.

Without your support, Having “Me” Time would most probably have been left to gather dust in a little corner and be one day labeled as “internet junk.” (Perhaps it might be so in the future, but not just yet. Not anytime soon.)  I have to admit that writing out into the abyss of the internet day-in day-out can be somewhat of a daunting task.  There is so much out there.  The internet is a vast universe of its own and we occupy but tiny corner of it.  A nano sized speck invisible to the human eye.

For three hundred nights I have sat in front of my computer screen and for three hundred nights, I have smiled upon seeing your comments and your support.  Thank you my readers.  You mean much to me and I hope that Having “Me” Time will continue to be a part of your lives.

Together we have lived through political turmoils, reflected upon lost lives, prayed for tsunami victims,  explored various corners of this earth, and enjoyed the great cuisines of this earth.  Most importantly, we do all this without forgetting that it is essential to live healthy.  Life is full of such unexpected events and there is much to experience in this short life time of ours.  Let’s go out, have some “me” time and enjoy what this world has to offer.  It’s too precious to just let it pass by.

Take care and sweet dreams until tomorrow night.