Tag: happiness

To Love or Not Love the Rain

~ Swisa A ~ Leave a comment

It’s been a long time since I last wrote and what better time than to write on a lovely cool morning after the rain has stopped. How I love the rain varies from time to time.

Most times I love the rain when it’s just light rain or drizzles. I love it for the greenery and freshness that comes with it when it stops. Lawns become so green and life beckons. Birds chirps and splash around in the puddles that form along the driveway. Snails and slugs appear along with other types of insects moving about slowly in their slow way of life. Toads hop around in my garden and give me a surprise everytime one unexpectedly moves in a dark corner. My dogs equally like it (I think) as they lie happily on the porch with the cool breeze that passes through.  I practice my guitar, and life is just wonderful.  I feel calm and settled.  I feel home like when I grew up in cloudy, rainy Brussels.

Other times, I feel less tolerent of the rain especially when it’s pouring down hard coupled with thunder and lighting.  The heavens roar and you wonder if Thor was having a fight up there.  On Earth, the grass grows at exponential speeds and if the rain is follwed by the sun, ticks and fleas re-emerge.  Roads get flooded and commute to and from work takes a couple hours.  The light reflecting on the road makes it harder to drive and accidents happen.  You see news of people’s houses with roofs broken and neighbors with water pumps working to drain water from their houses. 

In the end, do I love or not love the rain?   It depends on how much rain there is. I love it when there’s just enough of it to cool the skies and make pitter pattering sounds on the window pane. I don’t particularly love it when it’s accompanying by thunderstorms and lighting and comes in such large quantities that it floods. 

I suppose this is much like human emotions. Sometimes you like something but if you have too much of it, you might not like it so much anymore. For example, I love choux cream but I wouldn’t be able to have it everyday.  Emotions, like the rain, has ups and downs.  It all depends. What do you think?

Wishing everyone a wonderful Sunday ahead.  Have some ‘me’ time. 

To be or not be: happy

~ Swisa A ~ 2 Comments

When I read the news or turn on the TV I don’t really want to know all the details of beheadings, attacks and killings.  I can’t get away from it though. It’s everywhere, it’s sad and I pray for all affected. No one should have to experience such horrific events.  Yet they do because there are unhappy people everywhere.  What makes people happy or unhappy?  Alex and I discussed this recently in one of our many discussions.  Countless books have been written on this topic and gurus abound, but here is our take on how to be happy.

1 Acknowledge and accept that one cannot be happy 100% of the time, but believe that you can have more happiness than unhappiness. Like anything in life, accept the truth and move on.  It’s impossible to be happy all the time.  There will be times when you are sad, angry or feel blue.  These emotions will pass.  How fast they pass by depends on you.  This is a fact of life. When you acknowledge this and are no longer fixated on being happy all the time, you will have less stress.

2 Search for the true cause of the problem that is making you unhappy.  For each ‘unhappiness’ that you want to fix, you need to be able to find the true root cause of it.  If you don’t find the root cause, it will be like cutting weed without taking out the root.  The weed will come back. It may expand underground and resurface in different areas, but it will be back.

For example, most people, myself included, have some form of insecurity. As the german psychoanalyst Eric Fromm (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erich_Fromm) said, “The task we must set for ourselves is not to feel secure, but to be able to tolerate insecurity.” We must find the cause of our insecurity and face it.  Insecurity can take many forms. A lot of people hide their insecurities through accumulation of material goods.  If they have so and so , x and x with this much value, people will ‘love’ or look up to them.  They don’t think they can be liked without their possessions.   Sometimes the insecurities come in the form of defensiveness.  I bet we’ve all experienced this where the other side just cannot accept any form of constructive criticism.  They feel insecure and threatened.

3 Really believe you can fix it.  It is in your power to fix it. The important thing is to ‘believe’ and make a plan.  A lot of people make the mistake of believing that problems can be fixed right away and result in immediate happiness, but more often than not results take time. A lot of time.

For example, a lot of people complain about work. They are unhappy and complain day after day, wishing that things were better, but do nothing to fix the problem.  Years go by and the unhappiness intensifies. What do you do to fix the problem? You could start by taking small steps to make it better.  See if you can improve the situation. Can you make the environment or do something to make it better?  Little by little the situation can and will be improved.  Be patient. The responsibility is in your hands.

What do you think makes one happy or not?

Be human

~ Swisa A ~ 1 Comment

Sometimes things happen when you least expect it.  Life brings along its paths many experiences and opportunities yet it is your decision whether to grab the opportunity, make something of it and live the experience, or just simply go with the flow.  If you spend your days pondering the consequences of your possible actions and do nothing, debating the pros and the cons, then the one thing you can be sure is this:  nothing will get done.  Life will go on as it does and pass by.  To be happy, as in many other things, depend on your own actions.

This morning I listened to a youtube video on Happiness 101 by Harvard Professor Tal Ben-Shahar.  I loved it.

Many of the things he said are things I’ve been pondering about in life as I am sure have many people.   What is it that makes one happy?  Is it money? Is it wealth? The answer isn’t.

Happiness depends mainly on your own actions. To be happy, requires participation and devotion.  You are responsible for your own happiness. No one else is.

Remind yourself of how blessed you are.  Remind yourself of the things that you are grateful for in life.  Think positive.  Exercise.  Take time to be with your family and the people you love.  Allow yourself to be human.  No one is perfect.

Sleep.

Simple isn’t it? Easier said than done.  Good night my dear readers. Be happy.

The Heart Melter

~ Swisa A ~ Leave a comment

There’s something about coming home to dogs that are just great for the heart. No matter how tiring or crazy a day you’ve had, when the dogs run towards to you as if they hadn’t seen you in years, wagging their tails, and innocently staring up at you with the sweetest eyes;  a part of you melt.  It softens you and your heart goes all gooey.

It reminds one of nature and of life.

It reminds us to take time out from all the gadgets, TVs and technologies that surround us.   It reminds us to enjoy the nature that surrounds us, to feel the grass beneath our feet, feel the wind in our hair and hear the birds chirp.

Yes having dogs remind you of all that.  They do because you have to really stop and notice them, take care of them.  You also have to play with them so that they use up excess energy.  Excess energy they would otherwise turn into biting your trees, and digging up your flowerbeds.  So you end up on grass throwing balls and playing “Fetch.”  You end up gardening to fix those plants the dog dug up or finding ways to keep them from digging.  Then as you are doing all that, the dogs are running around playing, occasionally bumping into you as if they were six year olds.  You can’t help but smile.  They seem so happy just running around on the grass, like when once a upon a time we too used to run around.  That must have been over twenty years go.

To be happy doesn’t mean you need to have all the excesses of this world.  It’s purely a state of mind.

Dogs are happy with the simplest snack or a little scratch behind the ear.  Maybe we should train our minds to be happy just as easily.  Life would indeed be a happy one.  Yes, dogs are indeed good for the heart (even though your house and garden gets occasionally turned upside down.)  Have a good weekend!

Building house

~ Swisa A ~ 1 Comment

These past few months Alex and I have been working on building our house. It’s hectic but at the same time rewarding. You get to see your ideas and imaginations on paper take form and completed. There is progress there are clear methods of measurement. It feels good to see it finished but that is not all, building a house has taught me some valuable lessons.

First of all, things don’t always turn out as expected or planned. That beautiful tile you wanted for the bathroom might be out of stock and the floods have affected the production of bathtubs.

Yes, it was interesting to see how devastating our floods were. If I wanted that bathtub I would have to wait a long while which would delay the project.

Secondly, perfection is good but learn to let go of minor things in favor of the bigger picture.

In search of perfection we want every little detail to be perfect. Sometimes down to the minute detail. ( I like to be detailed) Move the cupboard to the left by so and so inches…. Make sure that the curtain rails are at so and so height.

But then when you don’t have time to go oversee everything and timing is important you just have to see the positive side of things.

It’s not perfect but it’s still wonderful and good. So if it’s an inch off, it’s okay. Don’t stress over that inch.

Lastly, learn to laugh, have fun and just see the positive side of errors. My painter mistakenly switched the colours in two rooms. However, upon looking at his work, I realized it actually looked better the way he had painted it. The rooms looked cozier and the colours fit better with the surrounding rooms.

So we embraced this mistake and are now very happy with the colours on the walls.

Building a house has made me more patient, more decisive and taught me how to see the positive side of things. It’s not perfect but don’t forget to enjoy the experience and have fun. Afterall, we aren’t putting our house in any architectural competition. Make it a happy one and that’s all that matters ! :):)

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What’s your Cheese?

~ Swisa A ~ Leave a comment

The other day I read an interesting book called “I Moved Your Cheese.”  It’s a book that follows on the famous “Who Moved My Cheese?”  and I find it interesting for it tells a story of three mice in a maze that challenged the maze in which they lived.  It’s fascinating.   The story is simple and you could finish the book in one night, yet it makes one think.  It is a reflection of what life should be.

The three mice in the story were not like the other mice for they thought outside the box.  They questioned the fact that “cheese” was indeed important for everyone and if they should in fact pursue this “cheese” just because everyone else is pursuing it.   Follow the cheese and find it.  Adapt so that one can consume this cheese.

To put things short, the story basically teaches us to do some self reflection.  Think about what this “cheese” is for us.  To some, it may mean getting that limited edition bag, to others it could mean going on a trip, or for some it could just mean sitting at home on the couch with a good book with the person they love.  Discover what it is in life that makes you happy and pursue that. 🙂

Follow your own dreams not other people’s dreams. (or other people’s dreams for us) 🙂

A little corner of happiness

~ Swisa A ~ 1 Comment

Sometimes, happiness can be found in the littlest places. You do not need much space to be happy as a friend of my discovered this past two months during the recent flooding in Bangkok. Happiness is something that for different people comes from a number of reasons. Even though this flooding was disastrous it actually brought a little happiness to some people.

Now, let me give you some background. My friend is usually is a lady who is extremely house-proud and will spend most of her waking energy looking after the house, cleaning and putting things in order. Yes, everything is top notch shining, bright and everything is set in its proper place. Not an inch too far to the right or to the left. She enjoys it and enjoys having a house that is always beautiful to look at. No trash left lying around. No shoes or books left where they shouldn’t be.

Then the flood came. Everything had to be moved to the second floor. Everything that was movable that is.

Everything was stacked on top of each other (in an orderly way of course) and the second floor ended up looking like it was a furniture warehouse. There was hardly any space to walk around nor move. Only the sofa provided some seating. The ground floor, on the other hand, looked like it was a newly constructed house with nothing but a few plastic chairs and a table left below. Even the curtains were removed.

Yet up there on the second floor, my friend found a little corner of happiness. Sitting on her sofa amidst the towering stacks of furniture and decorations, my friend sat there smiling. Smiling because she was happy. Smiling because the whole family was home and smiling because she did not have to spend the day doing any house work. No putting things in order, no rearranging the furniture or the decorations, and no grocery shopping. (Being without car and supermarkets were mostly out of stock.)

It was indeed a happy time for my house-proud friend.

She got to rest and relax. In a tiny little corner of the furniture warehouse, she sat there resting, reading, watching television and feeling not in the least guilty that she had to be responsible for looking after the house. Having no obligations, she was happy. Now that all is over, my friend is back to being the person she was before the flood, running around and getting exhausted.

Happiness can indeed be found in the strangest places. Where are you happy ? Do you know what makes you happy? If you do, why don’t you recreate the happiness more often? Happy Holidays! 🙂

It was right here all along

~ Swisa A ~ Leave a comment

Have you ever had one of those moments when you want something, know you have it somewhere, just saw it the other day, but now that you need it, you can’t find it? It’s just not there?  I’m having one of those moments now.  It makes me wonder, if suddenly it is going to pop up out of the blue when I least expect it?  That is usually what happens to me. Days later, “Poof! Here it is! It was right before me all along, but it was hidden by something.”
Now I wonder why it is not there when I first wanted it to be.  Why can’t life be a little simpler?

Maybe it’s because we have to learn to really “see” things from another perspective before what we are looking for comes to us. Before we realize it was there all along.

Sometimes, oftentimes, people spend their lives looking for love, happiness and peace.  They want a happier life, a more fulfilling life.  Some will go through extremes, move countries, build a business empire, maybe even climb mountains, get rich and have all the money in the world in search of happiness. In search of reaching the ‘solution’ that would save them.

Many work so hard they forget to look at the people besides them.  Their families, their relatives, their loved ones, or even their children. Many children are growing up with nannies and daycare centers rather than with their family.  That is modern day life.

Then one day, after all those years of searching, working, trying to find the ultimate ‘solution’ that would make them happy, they find that what they had been looking for was right there besides them. Maybe just there inside of them.   Why didn’t they see this earlier?

For me:

Happiness is internal.

Happiness is appreciating  and being grateful for those around you.

Happiness is being able to do the things you love.

Happiness is being able to smile after just having an ice cream or chocolate. Happiness is living life the way you want to.

Happiness is not expecting. Happiness is being happy when others are happy.

It’s like when the food critic in the animation “Ratatouille” has his favorite ratatouille dish and he is reminded of childhood days. His eyes gleam and he is transported back to happy days.

It’s like when you look out the window to see leaves on a tree rustle in the wind and grass sway.  You can feel nature and its wonders.

It’s like when you are just sitting on a couch watching TV with your family and happy they are all alive and well. It’s like getting excited when you first get a message or call from your crush.

It’s like remembering how it felt to have your first bite of divine chocolate.
If you can look at everything around you with an open mind, like that of a child who is happy at just getting a new pencil or a piece chocolate, then I think we would all be happier human beings.

Have no expectations.

If you can look at what you have around you.  Be grateful for what you have, be happy with what is given, then you will find that life becomes a lot more pleasant.

Didn’t you ever notice that many times the poor street sweeper smiles more often than the rich businessman?  Life’s really a lot about what’s ‘inside’ not ‘outside.’

Yes, search nearby, inside and out before you go searching far and wide.  Maybe what you were just looking for, was right there all along.  It was just hidden from view behind that layer or dust.

Always in my mind: Happy Birthday MY

~ Swisa A ~ Leave a comment

It’s been two days since my good friend’s birthday and believe me the words have just been flowing in and out of my mind in an endless stream that ebbs and flows.  There are so many things I want to say, so many things I want to write, yet having only 24 hours in a day, I could not quite fit everything in without fear of making myself collapse from exhaustion.  So here I am to write a birthday ode to a lovely friend who just celebrated her birthday two days ago.  You know who you are. You are always in my mind.  This is for you. I hope you like it.

Good friends who are always there are few in number.  Good friends who’ve you known for over 20 years are even rarer.  Yes, can you believe it, I’ve known you for over 20 years. I’ve known you since my primary school days.  Time though isn’t everything.  What’s more important, is that throughout the roughly two decades we’ve known each other, you have remained the same sweet and gentle person you’ve always been.

Not once, not ever have I seen you frown or expressed any signs of anger.  There is always a smile, a calm face to greet your gaze.  When you are happy, a light sparkles in your eyes and your smile lights up the entire face.   A few words from you suffice to let us know your thoughts.  No nonsense, but full of calm and good will.  No trickery, no ill feelings, no bad vibes.  There is not a person in this world who I think could do you harm.  You are always so serene, so gentle, so happy.  Stay that way.

Not having stayed in Bangkok throughout my entire life, we lost contact, but that was once again renewed when I later came back.  Birthday lunches, ladies day out, we will meet again.  There is always a reason to keep in touch, even if it is just for a nice lunch out.  What I’ve always found funny though is that not being a Thai, you have actually lived in Thailand longer than I have.  Even funnier, is that soon enough, we shall be living in the same area.  Minutes away.   I suppose then, we shall be meeting each other more.

I hope you had a wonderful birthday my dear friend. (Birthdays are celebrated week long right? :):)) I’m happy to have you as a friend and to the many more years to come.  Stay forever the wonderful person you are, forever calm, forever serene, forever happy.  That is indeed a lovely way to be.  See you in a few days my dear friend 🙂

Memories and Life

~ Swisa A ~ Leave a comment

As summer is coming to an end in the northern hemisphere, I thought about summers past.  Then an interesting thought came to mind.  Memories that I remember most vividly from childhood usually occur in the summer or involved something new, something unexpected.

Why summer?  Why do memories from these two to three months a year are the ones that remain so vividly in my mind?  What happened with the rest of the year?  Why do new, unexpected events leave marks upon the brain?

Of course, memories from the other nine months of the year, which is not summer, also appear now and then, however, I noticed that they are usually memories of time with an “event” to remember.  For a kid, that meant traveling, new experiences, birthday parties or playing with the dog and somethng happens.   I remember seeing Chantilly in France for the first time as we rounded a bend in the road and suddenly before us appeared the magnificant castle.  I remember dropping chocolate on a white sweater while visiting the Loire Valley. Then standing in the rain, looking up at the Neuwienstein (Fairy Tale Castle) near Munich, or having fireworks magically rain down overhead on Luxembourg’s national day.

Usually,  memories imbed themselves when something new happens, something unexpected, or something you’ve never experienced before happened.  Sometimes, it involves planning something mischievous or working on a school project that I found extremely fun and challenging.  I remember one where we had to think about how to prevent an egg from breaking if it is dropped for the second story.  Each team worked hard and may theories developed.  The fun part was when all the different groups had their eggs actually dropped. You could see how different types of packaging reacted as it flew through the air and hit the ground.  Sometimes it involved thinking about the planets and their relations to one another,  or writing up a report on the hazards of smoking.

Yes, school projects do make a difference.  I still, for some reason, remember since grade school that kangaroos have extremely strong tails that could kill you if you were hit by one.  I also remember that a cigarette has over four thousand hazardous compounds.  I remember reading the words, writing about them and feeling in awe.

Why do these particular memories come to mind?  I think it’s because they involved a new experience that made your brain think.   A new activity that challenged the brain, like it has never been challenged or experienced before.  These “moments” where the brain had to really work, really think, are the ones that are imbedded most strongly in the mind.  Stimulate the mind.

Sometimes as we grow older, work, and end up living life in a routine, we lose a bit of that “awe” that a kid has.   We grow accustomed to our life, and do not want to try new experiences.  We do things the way we always do, because that’s the way we’ve been doing it.  I say, keep life inspiring, try something new each day.  If that’s too much, try each week or each month.   Discover the little child inside and explore, for this world is still full of such wonders.  Keep questioning, keep exploring, and keep feeling awed by all around you.

Live life with passion. Life is so much fun, and too short to let it go to waste. Live your life.  Don’t let routines bogg you down!