It’s a peaceful Sunday my dears

When was the last time you had a peaceful Sunday morning?  For me it’s been awhile since I had a relaxing Sunday like today.  Weekends are usually hijacked by the errands and other obligations that necessitate us being up, dressed and out of the house, or just waiting for people to arrive.  I have come to realize that the most valuable Sundays are the days you can just get up, laze and not feel obligated to do anything.

It’s a day to be treasured.

Last weekend it was hijacked by house projects that although voluntary, it requires one to be up and ready.  Even though all I had to do was wait for the gardener, cleaning lady and fence man to arrive, one still had to be on the watch and make sure things were done correctly.  Which means that you can’t just laze on the couch looking out the window at the big sky with the dogs by your feet.

It becomes an energized day with dogs on full alert at all the strangers roaming about which rubs out on you as well.  You find yourself checking to see if the fence was done the way it was discussed, the dogs don’t get in the way, or just seeing that everything is in order.

This morning, it was an ideal Sunday morning.  There was no one coming, no place I had to be, and nothing I had to do.  It was truly a relaxing “me” time sort of day.

It feels absolutely great.  Rejuvenating.

Alex and I make a mental note that more days like this are needed.  Every now and then, it is absolutely divine to just stay home and laze.  It clears the mind and regulates your heartbeat.  I feel myself breathing slightly slower (although it could just be my imagination) and my mind is strangely clear.  Stress relieve. What about you?  When was the last time you gave yourself some rest?  Have a lazy, peaceful Sunday everyone 🙂

 

Stressed? Run.

This morning, I went running.  It’s been awhile, actually a couple of months since I’ve been running regularly.  The past few weeks its been difficult to just squeeze in twice a week of running.  Of course the usual excuses come up, the rain, lots of things to do..etc.  The list is endless.   Really there is no excuse. , The truth of the matter is that the more stressed you are, the more tasks you have to do, the more you should actually be running.  It clears your mind in unbelievable ways.

It’s like floating on cloud 9.

This morning I realized how unfit I have become.  Just a few months off and there I am huffing and panting after just 4 sets of running at 7.5 km/hour.  My heart felt like it wasn’t getting oxygen fast enough and I felt myself hanging on the treadmill rails.  It got better after the second set, however, my average before was 9 km/hour.  I tell myself.  I have  to keep running.  I cannot let myself get out of shape.

The best thing of all though is that I was reminded of how running really clears up your mind. If you’re stressed, overwhelmed by all that you have to do, have a zillion million things to get done then the best stress reliever of all is exercise.  Your brain feels replenished and thoughts flow more clearly.   You had valuable time to be by yourself and let your brain rest.

After all, don’t you wonder why the best ideas usually appear when you’re out for a walk or taking a shower?  The “thought” had an opportunity to get through the zillion other things that circuit through our brains like flashes of electricity all day long.

So really, the best way to maintain your mental health is to just exercise.  The more stressed you are, the more one should exercise.  There’s no excuse.  Exercise and it will change your life.  Try it.  I dare you. 🙂

A Balancing Act

Sitting in my study looking out the window, I am still thinking about “The Descendants” I wrote about yesterday.  That movie was about a man, a successful lawyer and a land baron who had devoted all his time to his career, to making money only to later realize he had “lost” his family.  Although his wife was now seriously ill from a boating incident, he had lost her years ago.  They had ceased to talk, to spend time together, to go out and enjoy each other’s company.   They had grown apart.  His daughters, he had hardly seen and could hardly remember the last time he was alone with them.  They too had grown.  So that was Matt King who spent his life focusing on himself.  Then there are opposites:   those who spend their time completely devoted to other’s lives until they forget to have a life of their own.

It happens sometimes.    It happens more often than I would like to acknowledge.

It happens in relationships and in families.   They believe that family is number one and that nothing else is more important.  They find themselves unconsciously assimilated into the other person or persons.  They forget everything about themselves and focus entirely on the person or persons.   They must spend their time taking care of the family, taking care of their needs and anticipating their needs.   They serve each and every need in the belief that this is right.  This is the “right” thing to do.  This is what is “expected” of them.  They devote their entire time, their entire life to others.   Guilt prevails if they want to do something of their own.  Guilt, self-inflicted.   So the cycle continues, on and on.

Now do not get me wrong, I am not saying that it is a bad thing to care of others, it is good to take care of loved ones and people around us.  What is most important though is that there needs to be a balance.

There needs to be a balance between taking care of others and taking care of your own needs.

Your own needs are equally important, and your life is equally important.  You have dreams, you have desires and there are things you want to do, places you want to go.  Don’t push all your own needs out of sight and hide them somewhere deep inside your soul.  One day you might just erupt like Mount Vesuvius.

And when your erupt, or if you just stay dormant.  One day you may find yourself on your deathbed looking back on your life and thinking about all the things you could have done, all the things you wanted to do, and all the places you wanted to go.    You might feel a resentment at others, why they had done the things they wanted to do and did all they wanted to do.  Yet all these emotions come too late and your life has passed you by.  You will just have to wait for your next life to do the things you want to do.

Find a balance in your life.   Have some time of your own, have some time for others, have some time for your dreams.

The Descendants

 

I love the weekend.  It’s time for relaxing and for thinking about how to relax.  It’s been awhile since I last watched a movie and it’s been an even longer while since I last sobbed watching a movie.  Watching a movie on DVD at home where there are not another hundred or so people next to you, you find yourself fulling immersing yourself and embracing the emotions that come with it.   You can cry and laugh as loud as you want.  You aren’t going to be disturbing the person next to you.  So yes I cried when watching “The Descendants”, but it was a good one.

“The Descendants” isn’t one of those action movies that keep you grabbing to the edge of your seat or hiding behind a pillow, when it gets all bloody.   It’s one of those movies where you watch a family, lives and emotions unfurl.  It’s harsh reality beautifully portrayed.

It’s about a family, a husband and two daughters and what happens after the mother is seriously injured in a boating accident.

You might think, so it’s another one of those movies when everyone sobs and gets through it.  Well there’s more.  A possible death of a loved one or family member brings up all kinds of emotions.  There’s anger, denial and most often regret.

In the first scene of the movie, the lawyer husband and land baron, sits by his wife who is laying in bed in a coma and hoping that she wakes up.  They had not spoken in days and months.  He wished he had lived his life differently and spent more time with his wife.  But life has passed by and he cannot bring her back.  Their marriage had quietly disintegrated despite a seemingly happy life with a large house and money for all their needs.

There is no one cause, but a mixture of reasons.   He was probably too focused on his work and his wife busy raising the children.   Matt King discovers he hardly knows his daughters.  He doesn’t know what they like, don’t like nor what kind of persons they have become.  He didn’t know his wife in the past ten years of their life together.  He had neglected her needs. He had been too self focused.  He lost touch with the personal and emotional aspect of his family.

It makes you think really.

What is it you want out of life?  What is important in your life?  Families like a tree require regular pruning and watering.  Once absent, they will wilt and die.   Relationships and emotions have to be handled with care and nurtured with love.  Only then will the tree blossom into a strong and beautiful one.   Think about what you really want.  Once you have it, focus and do not lose sight.

Life once lived cannot be taken back.

Don’t end up sitting by the bed of someone you love full of regrets about all you hadn’t done, thinking about all you should’ve done.   Live your life and do what you want to do, but don’t forget about those most important to you.   There’s more to life than just fame and money.

It’s no wonder this movie won an Oscar and several other awards.  It’s reality beautifully made.

Mid Year, Good Year

It’s July and the first half of 2012 has passed by.  So much has happened and so much more is waiting to happen.  July, for me, is also a good time of year to take a step back and reflect on the past six months.  What have we done?  Have we reached the goals we set out?  Not only professionally but most importantly also personal goals.   After all, one must develop as a person as well as professionally.  That’s what I believe anyways.

We are not perfect human beings.  There are flaws and character traits that can be improved on and some that are undesirable.  Some like to bite their nails, some may be things like hearing and not listening.

Sometimes, if we don’t take a step back every now and then, we forget.  We go on with our daily lives, doing our daily tasks, doing our daily obligations and forget to look at ourselves in the mirror.   A real “look” at ourselves (not just to check if the hair is alright or that you put on the makeup fine).  That means really analyzing what it is we are doing with our lives.  What sort of person are we and what sort of person are we becoming.  Is this what we want to be? What are our bad points?  Do we hear but not listen? Do we talk but not act?  Of course the same can be done professionally.

So I have a few personal goals that I’m working on and yes, after having set my goals earlier there is always a time for follow up.  Am I a better person?  Am I thinking positive often enough?  Am I getting more organized?  Am I continuing on with my running regime ? Am I listening more?… The list can go on and on.

It’s not easy, but then if not to improve oneself, what would we have learnt in this lifetime?   Lets make this lifetime a one of learning and developing. 🙂  Good night! 🙂